Learning

I go through the life watching, hearing, and learning. I want to understand everything and everyone. Now, people are giving me so much time to think about how much have I developed while I have walked on this new way. Sometimes I do not understand why they leave me alone, but it might be I need to realize how I am managing my new life. It looks like I have to walk through the worst loneliness I have ever endured.

I do not feel ready to be alone, but I just think about God does not give me a cross I can not go along with. This is the first day of the rest of my life, and I need to PUSH. I do not swear I will not fall, but I do swear I will not give up.

Like the phoenix, rising from the ashes, my soul is rising from this hole, and I will succeed over this new phase of my life. Thanks to people who is getting closer to me, and special thanks to those who left me alone when I most needed them because now I realize I can not put my whole trust over all people.

*PUSH = Pray Until Something Happens

Just the Beginning of the Year

Today is just the newest day. I am not worry about what I have done or I have fail to do because now is not just a new day but a new year also. I want not to worry about my mistakes because I am not alone. I have a guard angel who takes care of my and my actions, even my relations. I just want to feel the heat of my really friends presence. I would not be worthy to have such presence of people who does not care about my past or my future, but they are who make my day brightly.

I am just a human looking for the half of my life, that special person who can guide me through the best way, and I know who would she looks like. If she does not want to take me as her cross is because I am not worthy. She would like me, I would like her; but I am just renewed and she does not realize I am just in front of her. I like you so much!!!!

Dear, My Lil Dear!!! hope you think of me as I do every day!!! enjoy your new year with the people you love, even if I am not in.

Once Again

Hello dEar, I haVe come back. I triEd to go away from you, but you put your whole streNgth To Hold me. I realize nOw that yoU are stronGer tHan anYone I knOw. I am just a body, a soUl, and a loser. You are the only one who Can have suppOrted me for a long time, So I am back in your arms. I wantEd to step out of you, even when you keep my alIve. I jusT want to stand by myself, bat I fell aparT. I know I deserve anytHing you hAve giveN me. I do not liKe to receive Some things I deserve, but honestly, I know I deserve them. Loneliness, please, let me know if this is the time to find that reason to go back, or this is the time to go away; I can not be with you so long since I do not want to. I just need some guide.

I Am Being Renewed

I am now walking Away from you while you do Not deserve what I am doing. Today I had to start Again without you. You will miss me In my absence, but I do not want to miss you. We had So much good times as worse times, yet it Is time to go. I feel So nervous for This beginning without you; you Had been my partner for this long time. I can not tell you I Am not exited; if I do so, that would be a lie, and I do Not want to be lier. I am just starting to step up, and I Know I feel my body So heavy, even though, there is an angel who is going to take me away from you. It had to happen some day.

My angel had come not some time ago, and we did not want to Face what was going On. I was scared, and I was not Really the only one. My angel took my hand and touched my heart. This angel looked at my eyes without looking my face but my soul. I was being renewed, while the time was still going. We knew we have to stop. This day my angel let me know that this is the time to let you go.

You gave reasons for walking, even when I did not want to. I have now to be strong without you because my hopeful angel is going to guide me. Please, forgive me because now I am new. I am sorry, I will not miss you. My angel is not going to allow me to see you again.

Take care of yourself my dear Angry Lone Liness because my angel will take care of me.

I Was Missing You, Dear Beach

There was a long time ago since I enjoyed some time with you; I am so pleased because met you again and to felt your soft touch on by tiny body. Your bed of rocks hurt me a few, but I deserve it due to I wanted to be with you as the old time. Oh! dear, how could that people pushed me away from you for so long? I am very sorry because of that, but I swear I will be back soon due to you are a part of my life which I cannot just cut off, not today, not yet, and hopefully not ever; I will do anything to be close to you. I am sure I cannot take you to my backyard, and that is not because I do not want but because I cannot afford it yet. I pray to my God to have you at least kind of close to visit you often, I do not want to miss you that much as I had missed you this last time.

By now, I just want your help to clear my mind from those negative ideas, and let me understand if I really like her, and if it is, let me feel if she likes me as I like her, I do not want to get confused between friendship and relationship. I think there have been enough time to be alone, it is time to go on. My dear, I need you to make me strong enough to look into her eyes and externalize everything which comes from my soul.